The most common belief about love is that it hurts more than it makes us happy. But if we give it another thought we will realize that its not love that hurts, but actually its rejection, ignorance, unfaithfulness etc. that hurts. Love always makes us happy, makes us feel good. But when the negative things start to take over and love weakens that’s when we feel the pain. A bad relationship can cause a lot of pain. So its always a good idea to come out of a harmful and wrong relationship. True love would never make you cry, intentionally.
Its hard to call it off, but you know you have to, because it is not working. There can be a large number of reasons for a couple to end a relationship. Sometimes it ends on a mutual term, because both persons feel that their relationship is not going anywhere. In these cases its slightly easier to come to terms with the break up. But it feels worse when someone cheats on you or leaves you just like that. Women usually fear the post break up depression and loneliness. After a break the sudden vacuum that is created in one’s life is hard to deal with. Nothing seems alright. When one thing goes wrong everything else also seems to be overhauled. The good times that you spent together appears like a distant dream. Your chest feels heavy and the days are gloomy. But its not the end of everything. Its just a part of the life.
1) When we really love someone its very tough to let that person go. But sometimes for our own good. A decayed tooth hurts a lot but if it is plucked out, it gives us relief. Its similar with a bad relationship. The post break up phase can be depressing, but its just a phase, and you would get over it with time.
2) The first few days you would need some one to talk to, with whom you can share what you are going through. Let the person be someone who knows you very well. It can be your parents, or a friend. Blurt it out, you would feel light.
3) Engage yourself in creative activities. Do whatever you love to do. That way your mind will be diverted. You would think about him, whenever your mind is free. If you let it wander, it would go and get stuck to him. You can read books, watch movies, not boring and sad ones, but faster and happy ones, comedy movies, you can go out for shopping or do anything that pleases you.
4) Don’t keep things that reminds of him, like his pictures, or gifts that he gave you or anything of that sort with yourself. Don’t treasure them, give them away to someone or just dispose it off. The more you would think about him the more it will be difficult for you to come out of it. So whenever he pops up in your mind, change the thoughts
5) If there had been any misunderstanding between you two, then try to sort it out by communicating, but if every effort from your side fails, give up. May be he isn’t willing to sort out things. And don’t feel bad, atleast you tried to save it. You did your part. So be satisfied.
6) Try to analyze if it was actually your fault or not. Don’t be too egoistic. Think over what actually happened and what drove him to take such a decision. If it was actually your fault, then show him that you realized your mistake and it won’t happen again. He might forgive you and you can get him back. But if it wasn’t really your fault and if it just seems like an excuse that he gave just to get rid of, you should better let go of it. But don’t jump into a conclusion without trying to know what really went wrong.
7) If he couldn’t keep his promise and left you mid way then don’t expect that he would return. Don’t wait for him to come back. This is the biggest mistake most women do. It wont let you move on and you will keep waiting for him. If he realizes his mistake and has to come back he will, but at the same time he might not as well. If you keep waiting for him, you will be stuck there forever.
8) If he is the one who deserted you, then he has lost something, not you. And if you were compelled to end the relationship then there must have been some very good reasons behind your decision. Don’t keep hard feeling for him, it would cause more pain.
9) You are the only one who can counsel yourself the best because you know yourself the best. Make yourself see reasons. Make yourself stronger. If the guy played with your feelings, cheated on you then the best way to for get him is by telling yourself that you are wasting your tears on someone who was never yours.
10) Spend time with people to whom you are very close and who know you the best. If you are with people who care for you won’t feel lonely. Chat with them, go out with them, engage yourself in a group activity.
11) If you love pets then you can spend more of your free times with them also. Play with them, take care of them. Studies have shown that pets help in tackling depression.
12) Don’t keep a track on what is going on in his life. You will forget all about your own life. Live your life the way you want to. And let him live his. If you keep looking for information on him you won’t be able to move ahead in life. In order to start a new life you have to let go of your past completely.
A break up doesn’t mean that there is nothing more left to your life. Look around, there are so many people who love you unconditionally and who need you. You are not alone. Its alright if a relationship didn’t work out well. Don’t keep any regret. When you are in a relationship, do your part well. Try to understand your partner and make him understand you. A relationship needs to be nurtured by both the sides. And if it breaks even after all the efforts you put in, then may be it was not meant to be.