VeganFabulous

the lowdown: Rumpspankers | 700 NE Dekum St., Portland, OR 97211 | 503.284.4041 | Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner | Entrees $6.95 - $7.95 | *

Breakfast in the new hot neighborhood?

Today has been packed full of preparing for our Burning Man departure on Wednesday. This will be my fourth year in attendance and each year the planning and packing gets easier. Before we got started today we decided to meet a friend from the old new hot neighborhood (Alberta) at the alleged new hot neighborhood (Dekum) for brunch. Sadly, this will be our last dining adventure until we return from the desert.

Rumpspankers recently moved from 42nd and Fremont to 7th and Dekum and sits below a dance studio that is in full force 11:30am on Sunday. While sipping on our french press coffee we waited 20 minutes to order, we enjoyed overhead stomping that sounded as if there was a dance club above…oh. The funky space is complete with eclectic art, makeshift lighting, a tea house, and gourmet deli. The breakfast menu includes a few vegan options including the “Tofu Veg” ($6.95) bagel plate and “Vengeful” ($7.95) skillet. The dinner menu offers a vegan and vegetarian section. I ordered the “Vengeful” which arrived in a hot frying pan complete with sliced tomatoes, zucchini, spinach, herbs, and tofu. Nothing special about this dish, it doesn’t even come with toast. My brunch dates ordered the “Old Budapest” and “Rosemary’s Tater’s” (non-vegan dishes) and they were disappointed as well. To round out the experience the service was slow and inconsistent and the dining room was muggy. As we left we discussed brunching at spots in the old hot neighborhood (Alberta) and swore that we wouldn’t return to Rumpspankers, whatever that hell that means.

the lowdown: Hawthorne Street Cafe | 3354 SE Hawthorne Blvd., Portland, OR 97214 | 503.235.8286 | Breakfast, Lunch | Items $5.95 - $8.95 | *

Two options, one questionable.

For some reason every time I drove by Hawthorne Cafe, I forced myself to put it up a few notches on my dining list because I felt certain that it would be one of those places that has a ridiculously awesome tofu scramble. To be safe, I called and was told there was a variety of vegan options, but I think this was another classic case of the individual answering the phone either thinking vegan = vegetarian, or had an over commitment problem.

We arrived at the Hawthorne Cafe just before 11am, in time to barely miss the rush of hungry east siders. However, it didn’t matter, because the bottleneck was a result of having only one server. When we had the opportunity to order, she nervously scoured the menu for options, of which there were two. The tofu scramble without eggs and the “Mexican Spuds” without cheese. Since a plate full of potatoes rarely sounds appetizing first thing in the morning, I went with the scramble. My first clue should have been the frail toast, my second should have been the soggy veggies, but three times is a charm when I found suspect egg remnants. Let’s be honest, the tofu scramble was never designed to be vegan, I went with it under the assumption that they would accommodate, as they said they would. Vegan or not, the service and food do not add up to a good Sunday morning brunch.

the lowdown: Sweet Masterpiece | 922 NW Davis St., Portland, OR 97209 | 503.221.0055 | Website | Dessert | *

Dessert shop that serves vegan cheesecake and made a extraordinary bad decision to host a Valentine’s Day Vegan Dinner.

I always considered Sweet Masterpiece a good last minute destination when I am craving vegan dessert but it is too late to go anywhere else. They serve a vegan cheesecake that isn’t stellar, but will suffice. This month’s NW Veg e-newsletter advertised their foray into vegan dining by offering a day after Valentine’s Day vegan fondue dinner. Needless to say, I was amped at the concept and quickly made reservations. Since it started at 6:30, I made special arrangements to leave work early so I could prepare for my belated V-day celebration. We hurriedly made our way to the Pearl and immediately after walking through the door, I had a gut feeling that something was amiss.

The dining room was filled with eager vegan diners sipping water while we were clumsily shuffled to our bar seat facing the windowed kitchen. Within minutes I realized that the kitchen hadn’t prepared any of the food. I gave them the benefit of the doubt but I knew we were in for a long night. Essentially we had to flag someone down to bring us something to drink other than water, the appetizers were delivered over an hour after the event started, the food was luke warm and many people never received an entree because they ran out of food! Furthermore, we left after 2.5 hours only because we were lucky enough to be one of the first to receive the final course and immediately asked for our check. I am willing to make concessions for new ventures, but this was inexcusable. Everything that was served could have easily been pre-made, there wasn’t a single professional handling the food or managing the service, and from our vantage point, we witnessed the stress levels in the kitchen rise until it became uncomfortable. One thing is for sure, Sweet Masterpiece did a fantastic job destroying Valentine’s Day for approximately 40 people. In addition, this event will single handedly bring Sweet Masterpiece’s reputation to its knees.

the lowdown: Tommy O’s | 801 Washington St., Vancouver, WA 98660 | 503.694.5107 | Website | Entrees $6 - $14 | Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner | *

One frightful vegan friendly option.

Will someone explain to me what is wrong with the food scene in downtown Vancouver? I wanted to meet my out of town (and hopefully soon to be Portland’s newest resident) friend who was staying in Vancouver, for breakfast a few weekends ago, but it was nearly impossible to find a breakfast spot. You’d think there would be some demand in the miniature Pearl, but when I asked around everyone’s only suggestion was Tommy O’s. Apparently Vancouverites don’t have high expectations, because this meal had me wishing I had never crossed the state lines.

Tommy O’s has everything going for it. Little competition, exotic decor (I’m stretching here), and friendly staff. Unfortunately the missing component is tasty food! I excitedly ordered the Kilauea and a cup of house Kona blend coffee. First off, I’ve had Kona coffee, in Kona, and it is excellent! This coffee tasted worse then the stale coffee they serve in the break room at work! The dish consisted of a pile of dried out tofu atop a dish of soggy vegetables covered in a spice heavy curry sauce. With food like this, it’s no wonder the Portland kids stay close to home.

the lowdown: 23Hoyt | 529 NW 23rd Ave., Portland, OR 97210 | 503.445.7400 | Website | Dinner, Happy Hour | Entrees $19 - $30 | *

“Prior to making reservations for December 22nd at 7:30p I asked the hostess if there were any vegan options. She said the vegetarian dish can sometimes be modified but to call earlier on the day of the reservation to verify. I received a call midday on 12/22 and as recommended, asked if there were any vegan options that evening. I was told the pecorino could be withheld thus making it a vegan entree, so I kept the reservation. Once we arrived I asked the server about the menu items and she returned from the kitchen to inform me that no entrees were modifiable aside from the salads. While determining if we should stay I asked about the persimmon salad and was told it could be modified and was “pretty large”. Not only was the salad laughably small, the server seemed terribly unconcerned with the situation and proceeded to reduce her service to a level ill-suited for an establishment that asks you to seat yourself. I feel that I did my due diligence by calling and was misinformed and further disregarded. I respect your choice not to offer vegan items but I am disheartened by your lack of respect for my dining experience and time.”

the lowdown: The Daily Cafe in the Pearl | 902 NW 13th Ave., Portland, OR 97209 | 503.242.1916 | Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner (Wed - Sat only) | Items $3.95 - $19, Sunday Brunch $12.75 prix fixe

Unless you want to combine sides (which I don’t), this is not a place for vegan friendly food.

The Pearl District is like an abusive relationship; it continues to fail me but I keep coming back for more. The latest in my relationship woes with the Pearl is my trip to the Daily Cafe last Sunday for brunch.

The light filled dining room is packed with well dressed Pearlites feasting on small prix fixe portions with a price tag equivalent to 2 burritos from Laughing Planet. A quick glance of the menu proved unsatisfactory for me but the waitress was kind enough to charge me for each item individually rather than force me into the fixed priced. I pieced together a reasonable continental style breakfast with sides, of which the oatmeal was quite good, but certainly not good enough to warrant a recommendation to anyone with my dietary needs.

the lowdown: Life of Riley Tavern | 300 NW 10th Ave, Portland, OR 97209 | 503. 224.1680 | Lunch, Dinner, Late Night | Items $7 - $10

Beware of the term “veggies”, it means nothing here.

The Life of Riley is one of the Pearl District’s casual bars where you can walk in wearing your normal duds and fit right in. This coupled with the cheap eats makes for a great casual Saturday night destination, unless you are vegan.

In an effort to avoid eating a plate full of romaine I ordered the veggie pizza and asked them to hold the cheese. When it arrived it was merely pizza crust and sauce. I stared at it for a moment trying to figure out what went wrong before I burst out in laughter. At that time the server told me that the veggie pizza didn’t actually have any veggies on it, it was simply a cheese pizza (of course this would have been nice to know ahead of time, but I digress). The good news is that the server offered to throw some vegetables on it to make it edible. Maybe one day I will learn that the Pearl is not for me.

the lowdown: McMenamin’s Blue Moon Tavern | 432 NW 21st Ave, Portland, OR 97209 | 503.223.3184 | Website | Entrees $7.25 - $12.35 | Lunch, Dinner

Don’t go there for the food.

I very well think I am wasting my time writing this post because anyone who is reading it already knows that the service is typically terrible and the food is mediocre. Regardless of these very facts, McMenamin’s owns half of Portland’s history and people keep coming back for more. Is it the beer? The large population of frat boys? Both?

I ordered the Brewer’s Salad minus the bleu cheese crumbles (pictured below). As you can see, it looks terrible. I am convinced it came from a can. I picked at it for a few minutes and was thankful for the large order of fries as I proceeded to eat several handfuls.

the lowdown: Langano Lounge | 1435 SE Hawthorne Blvd, Portland, OR 97214 | 503.230.8990 | Items $8ish | Dinner, Late Night

2/3 of the menu options are vegan.

Langano Lounge, the bar below Jarra’s, is where my friend and I ended up one Monday evening after we attempted to go to Dalo’s and I chickened out. Sadly, I am notorious for judging a place by its outward appearance. Believe me, I am trying to work on that.

The atmosphere reminded me of a childhood friend’s basement, where you could stay up all night watching movies and talking loudly, out of earshot of the parents. The couple running the place were possibly the owners and were very friendly. We were excited to eat as neither of us had tried Ethiopian food before, but disappointedly, the food appeared to be reheated leftovers. Although we left dissatisfied, we will be back when Jarra’s is open.

the lowdown: 410 NW 21st Ave, Portland, OR 97210 | 503.274.1572 | Website | Entrees $13 - $19 | Brunch (weekends only), Lunch, Dinner

Mediocre Italian at its best. Vegan pasta dish unofficially available upon request.

Italian restaurants are a dime a dozen and with prices in the medium to high range, I expect a generously sized portion of lip smacking pasta. Sadly the stellar location, dark-lit romantic ambiance and pleasant service don’t make up for the conventionally bland pasta and lack of creativity. My dish contained oil drenched spaghetti noodles topped with “seasonal” vegetables that looked and tasted as if they were last seasons, not to mention the lack of spices. My dining companions who ordered directly off the menu were not impressed with their dishes either. The other thing worth mentioning is that they don’t serve coffee, only espresso drinks. A very disappointing evening for me.